Brandon Slams Lindsay

Here's the video of Brandon Davis pretty much trashing Lindsay Lohan while Paris Hilton giggles like an idiot in the background and refuses to comment.

For those of you that just want to know what the hell Davis had to say, and I'll admit, it's pretty funny in a drunken way, here is my own written transcript of Brandon's slurs:

"Lindsay Lohan has got the skankiest, sweatiest, orange cunt anyone has ever seen. I haven't seen it, she wants me to see it, but it's orange, and it fucking smells like diarrhea, so fuck off. And who would want to fuck her? Who? Wilmer? First off, is he in a mariachi band? We don't care. and she's got a fire crotch and all you guys then of course suck because you're desperate. Fuck you you fucking whore. Lindsay Lohan is a fire crotch. Ok, just tell me the truth...Lindsay Lohan? Would you fuck her? Her dad's hotter than her, alright? We think she's a fire crotch. I mean, we don't think that, we know that, it's obvious. Red pubic hair comes from inside her. She's like an orange tree. Fire crotches' movie bombed. Fire Pussy. Fire Weiner. I think she's worth about seven million, which means she's really poor. Its disgusting. She lives in a motel. We're gonna leave you with these last words. Lindsay Lohan? Fire crotch. She has freckles coming from inside her vagina, and her clitoris is seven feet long."

That last claim is pretty outrageous. Still, I am cracking up picturing Lohan dragging her seven foot clit behind her at premieres. Oh, me.