4.18.2006

It's a Alien Girl! And a Regular One!


The alien baby has emerged from the womb of Katie Holmes and is now exposed to the rest of the world. Tom Cruise's publicist confirmed today that Holmes gave birth today in Los Angeles (although no details on exactly where yet). The being weighs 7 pounds, 7 ounces and is 20 inches long, for those of you who care about such details - and I know there are those of you out there. It is considered to be female. TomKat has given its offspring the appropriate alien-sounding name of Suri, which means "Princess" in Hebrew (So basically they're proclaiming already that their daughter's a JAP.) and "Red Rose" in Persian. I thought they were Scientologists, what's with all of this foriegn crap? I was banking on Hubbardia for a girl, damnit. Anyway, it's the first child for Holmes, and the first natural one for Cruise, although he has two adopted children with ex Nicole Kidman. Who, I might add, is probably seething right about now.

Strangely, Brooke Shields, who hates Tom Cruise, also gave birth to a baby girl today in Los Angeles. She opted to name her daughter to sound like a French sandwich, calling her Grier Hammond. Weirdly enough, she was also 7 pounds and 20 inches long. It is the second child for Shields and her husband, Chris Henchy, pictured here with their first daughter, Rowan. Too bad no one's going to care about this baby. I hope this doesn't cause Brooke more post-partum depression. Better get those meds ready.

3 Comments:

At 1:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, am I wrong , or isn't a Suri and llama? A big old spitting llama. I thought I was the only one who thought the name Suri a bit far out. His first two kids got normal names. This one is going to grow up and hate her parents for this burden of a name.

 
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