3.31.2006

Morty's Gonna be a Little Retard



Wonderful, macrobiotic earth-mother Gwyneth Paltrow was spotted in New York City Tuesday night with husband Chris Martin of Coldplay at sushi bar Cube 63. Yes, she was noshing on the raw stuff (widely believed to be harmful during pregnancy), but what's more, she was downing a Guinness. True, some doctors do recommend drinking a little Guinness during pregnancy because of the high iron content, but you could just play it safe and eat some broccoli or something if you really want more iron. I just don't see why she'd risk any harm to her unborn child, even if the sushi thing is just an old wive's tale. I can understand why Britney Spears would be stupid enough to drink a Cosmo, but Gwynnie seemed smarter than that. She was the one that bought little headphones for Apple to protect her ears during Coldplay concerts! I had to study Fetal Alcohol Syndrome for a neuroscience course. That scared the living daylights out of me. Gwyneth should consider naming her son Corky instead of Mortimer, in honor of the retarded kid on Life Goes On.

3 Comments:

At 8:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

how tasteful of you to call a fetus a retard. congrats.

 
At 8:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

if you want "tasteful", then GET THE FUCK OFF THIS SNARKY SITE U STUPID RETARD!!!

besides, IF the child had MR, thatd be the LEAST of its worries.... just look at how FUGLY gwneth and chris are.... hell, ugliness would be the true handicap in this instance... not MR...

gwnnie is so F'ing ugly it should be against the law

 
At 7:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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